The Truth About Grief, Healing, and Who You Become After Loss
In todays episode we dives deep into a topic often avoided but universally experienced: grief. In this extraordinary episode, host Beverly Simpson sits down with grief coach and author Rachel Tenpenny McGonigal—also known as The Grief Gal—to unpack the truth about healing after loss and how it transforms who we become.
EP 407 - The Truth About Grief, Healing, and Who You Become After Loss
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Who Is Rachel Tenpenny McGonigal?
Rachel is a grief coach with a unique and empowering approach to loss. Her work transcends traditional models of mourning by teaching individuals how to process various kinds of loss—not just the death of a loved one, but also the loss of identity, business, health, and major life transitions. Inspired by the devastating loss of her two daughters 17 years ago, Rachel’s mission is to guide others to reclaim meaning, joy, and purpose—without feeling like they’re betraying what they’ve lost.
She is also the author of the transformative book "The Truth About Healing After Loss", available on Amazon.
Grief Isn't Just About Death
One of the most powerful insights Rachel shares is that grief isn't only tied to death. It can stem from:
Selling a business
Losing a relationship
Major health transitions
Losing a sense of identity or purpose
Even achieving long-sought goals can bring unexpected grief. The emotional fallout of letting go—even of something positive—requires skillful processing. That’s why Rachel’s work is so vital.
Common Grief Myths That Keep Us Stuck
Rachel challenges some of the most common—and harmful—grief misconceptions:
"Time heals all wounds." False. Healing requires action and intention, not just the passage of time.
"You’ll never be okay again." False. With the right support and tools, joy and meaning are still possible.
"You grieve in proportion to your love." Rachel argues grief is more about identity disruption than love alone. When our identity is tied to who or what we've lost, healing starts with rediscovering who we are now.
The Five-Step Process to Healing
Rachel offers a tangible, holistic five-step process grounded in real-life strategies. Some highlights include:
Deep self-awareness (using personality and values assessments)
Rewriting limiting beliefs tied to previous losses
Building sustainable rituals (like her signature tea-check-in method)
Strengthening pain-management skills
Reclaiming power over one’s internal world
Her approach is not about “getting over it”—it’s about learning how to live again with more clarity and strength than ever before.
What Does Healing Look Like?
Healing isn’t the absence of pain—it’s the presence of power. According to Rachel, true healing happens when:
You're no longer at the mercy of your emotions.
You feel more peace than fear, more joy than despair.
You regain control of your internal world—regardless of what’s happening externally.
Supporting Someone Through Grief: What to Say (and NOT Say)
What NOT to say:
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.”
“At least you…”
What TO do instead:
Say less. Listen more.
Offer tangible help: “Can I bring you groceries?” “Can I walk with you?”
Check in regularly—not just during the first few weeks.
Honor their pain without rushing their process.
Why Loss Processing Skills Are a Hidden Superpower
Whether you're an entrepreneur selling your business or a parent experiencing empty nest syndrome, loss processing skills can unlock your next level of growth. When you're equipped to handle inevitable losses, you take bolder risks, make more meaningful choices, and build a resilient life rooted in identity—not circumstance.
Final Thoughts
Rachel’s message is clear: loss is not a detour—it’s part of the journey. And with the right tools, it can become a launchpad to deeper purpose and greater joy.
If you or someone you know is navigating grief, The Truth About Healing After Loss is more than a book—it’s a lifeline.
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